went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
