oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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