eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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