i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
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