The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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