He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
