before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
