I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I have already put on my inside pants.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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