Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Randomize
