If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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