help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize