No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
