I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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