please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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