Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
