becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
