I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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