she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Brb crying the tears of my youth
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
