your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
