oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
