I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
