id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
