Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Can I color on your dick again?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
