I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
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