I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
