If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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