everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
