are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize