giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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