Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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