Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
