i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
