this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
