Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
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