but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
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He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
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I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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