just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
wow bdsm is so cute
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
