Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
