I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
