I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
