Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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