wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame