Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I need a beard to bite.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
