Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize