It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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