That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
