Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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