I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
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A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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