i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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