My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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