Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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