You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
