It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
