That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
