Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
The adults are the big ones right?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize