wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
