so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
