whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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