I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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