I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
She said her name was "party"
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
